I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
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