I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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