Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
