we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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