He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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