My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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