Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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