So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize