I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
