Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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