some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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