I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
