my vag is so smooth its legendary
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
