I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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