So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
