this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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