The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
