I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
This is the high leading the old right now
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
