I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
