The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
