Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
