There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
