which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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