You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
