Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
My ass is underappreciated
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
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