OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
You're like the curious george of whores
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
