Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
