smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
