dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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