just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
