yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
