Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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