dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
