she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
