I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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