I wish I could teleport
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
