Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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