yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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