I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
