i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
