one might say we're banned from that church
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
