why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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