just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
