Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
