Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
