the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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