i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
