Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
