I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
