we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
