I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Randomize
