Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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