He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
