so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
