so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
