jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Just cropdusted the office
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
