I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
